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Swinging is a lifestyle choice and one that only you can decide on whether it is for you or not. It is something that you need to feel perfectly comfortable with, having discussed at length with your partner.

It is perfectly normal for most people to be unsure and nervous to start with. Most importantly, discuss with your partner what you both want out of this. Communication is the most important thing to remember. Also, be clear about your boundaries, what you are both willing to do and not to do. Take your time to read the many articles, stories and books available, giving you an understanding of what the lifestyle is all about.

You could choose to attend a Swingers Party or Club, but you must be comfortable that the party/club you are attending is one that does not force you into participating. This can give you an idea of what takes place and how comfortable you feel within that environment.

When you first enter into the lifestyle both of you will likely experience a range of emotions, including jealousy and doubt. We cannot emphasize enough the importance of communication.

Q. Who attends Swingers’ Parties?

How long is a piece of string? People who attend swingers parties come from all walks of life, all different races, religions, etc. from teachers, doctors, trades people, blue collar workers, business owners, architects, and the list goes on and on. The most common trait in people who attend swingers parties is that they are all interested in exploring their sexual fantasies and have discussed what they hope to get out of the lifestyle.

Q. How do we find a Club/Party in our area?

The internet is a great place to start or there are many adult contact magazines available also, giving details of parties, their location and dates held.

Q. How do we find the right Swingers Club/Party for us?

Look at and research the different parties/clubs that operate in your area. When you come across a party/club that may be of interest to you, give the hosts a call and ask any questions you would like to ask. Sometimes, just from speaking with the hosts/owners you will get an idea and feel for the party/club and whether or not it is what you are looking for.

Q. What questions should we ask the hosts before attending a party?

Some questions you may want to ask are: Do they cater to a specific age group, and if so what is the age range? What is the average number of people that attend? Do they allow single males? What is the price? Do you need to bring anything, ie. towels, drinks etc.? What is the dress code? Do they have lockers/cupboards for your bags, coats etc.? Do they have showers? Do they have a Spa? Do you have to participate?

Of course there may be other questions you wish to ask. Never feel like a question is a stupid one. The only way you will find out anything is to ask!

Most parties/clubs also have websites where you can find basic information about the parties. Most will also include a set of basic rules.

Q. What happens at a Swingers Party?

There are a lot of clubs/parties that cater to different things. Make sure you talk to the club hosts/owner first prior to attending and get an idea of what type of club it is. Each club is different with different sets of rules and expectations. Give them a call and ask them any questions you have before you attend.

Usually when arriving you will be greeted by the hosts and shown around the venue, given a basic run down of the rules and possibly introduced to the other guests and then left to socialize.

Remember attending a swingers party is a social event giving you the chance to meet likeminded people who enjoy the lifestyle. Swingers parties are a great way to get to know people who enjoy the lifestyle and will give you an idea of who you may like to swing with.

Q. Do we have to participate?

NO. You should never feel pressured to participate. Swinging is all about having fun, respect and consensual sex between all parties. If you feel pressured then you’re in the wrong place. For first timers, you should be able to ease gently into swinging, take things at your pace, not someone else’s!

Sometimes when first attending a party you may choose to have sex only between yourselves.

Q. What are some of the rules at a Swingers Party?

Common sense. No means No! Generally most parties have a no drugs rule. And most importantly, always practice safe sex. This should go without saying.

Q. What about STDs

Though not common within the lifestyle, Sexually Transmitted Diseases do rear their ugly head. We strongly recommend and encourage that you always practice safe sex. It is impossible to know the sexual history of the people you meet, and hence, it is not worth the risk.

Within the swinging community it is the norm that the majority do practice safe sex. Unlike out in the public domain where the practice of safe sex is not necessarily that well practiced, so within the swinging lifestyle much safer and with very little risk.

Q. Will swinging help save a troubled marriage?

Not necessarily. Don’t be misguided into thinking that entering into the swinging lifestyle will help save a troubled marriage. This all depends on the experience of the individuals, and the openness of communication lines between a couple.

In some cases, yes, swinging can enhance a relationship, on the other hand it can also be detrimental. It is a very personal and individual decision and something not to be taken lightly. If you do not have an honest, stable, loving and trusting relationship where you can both communicate freely with each other, you should not try swinging as a way to save your marriage.

When you first enter into the lifestyle both of you will likely experience a range of emotions, including jealousy and doubt. Again, communication is the key.

Q. How do you tell people that you are not interested in them?

Be polite and respectful and just say no thank you. This can be a difficult thing to do for a lot of people. Be straightforward and honest in a polite way.

One of the great things about most of the people in the lifestyle is that they are open and honest with other people. Remember it is all about having fun.

Q. Are singles allowed at Swingers Parties?

Yes, singles are welcome, though in a lot of cases this refers to single ladies rather than single men. There are though still a lot of parties/clubs that do cater to single men also. You will find that some parties/clubs host different nights, catering to either just couples or both couples and singles.

Q. What is the difference between Full Swap and Soft Swap?

Full Swap means that the couples will have intercourse. It is important that all parties involved understand and agree to this before starting anything. Of course there is no guarantee that intercourse will actually happen when the playing begins. Just remember to respect everyone’s wishes at all times.

Soft Swap means that you will not have intercourse. There are however still some limits as to how far people will go. There are some that feel that kissing is too intimate, but oral sex is okay. This should always be made clear before starting anything. Some allow touching, and no oral. You must establish what you are comfortable with, and find out what the other couple is willing to do, before you start to play. This will avoid any hurt feelings and embarrassing moments and allow a more comfortable environment to play in.

Q. Is it normal to be jealous the first time you swing?

Yes. It is even normal to be a little jealous every time you swing.

Q. How do I convince my partner to swing?

You don’t convince your partner to swing. Swinging is a joint decision. Again you both must be open, honest and communicate at all times when discussing swinging, what you both are looking for and what you both hope to get out of the lifestyle.

Swinging is not for everyone. The first thing you need to do is talk to your partner about your fantasies, perhaps leave a swingers magazine lying around for them to find to open up a conversation. Be open to any questions that your partner may bring up and be prepared to answer any questions your partner has. If your partner lets you know that they have no interest then back off.

Q. Is Swinging just for couples?

Swinging is a lifestyle that couples enjoy to help them live out their fantasies with others. Singles are involved in the lifestyle, as many couples are looking for either an extra male or female to help them live out a threesome fantasy. One thing singles must remember when they are lucky enough to be involved is that it is a privilege and they must treat it as such. Swinging involves discretion, which is very important to remember. If you are a single simply looking for another single then you are not looking for swinging. If you are married and looking to cheat on your partner then you are not looking to swing. Never get the two confused.

Q. We are about to meet a couple for the first time? Where should we meet?

It is usually best to meet on neutral ground, such as a bar or a restaurant. This gives all parties a chance to talk and get to know each other. Always remember to set up something with the people you are meeting with so that you know who they are and vice versa. Find out what they will be wearing, etc.

It is also good idea to talk about setting up signals with your partner ahead of time, so that if either of you is not comfortable with the people you are meeting you can get out without facing an awkward situation. And another good thing to remember is just be yourself.

If all parties are comfortable you may also suggest meeting at a Swingers Party/Club. That way, if you don’t hit it off, there are plenty of other people to socialize and swing with, if you choose.

If you have a question that you would like to ask, that is not covered here, feel free to send us an email at info@ausswingers.com.au and we will include it in the FAQs.